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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Today I engaged in an activity most commonly known as busting my ass. I spent about 7 hours working on my newest harebrained scheme. It's not finished just yet, but I made a lot of progress. I'm too tired to explain. Pictures to come upon completion.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Mission Statement

To Whom it May Concern,
This letter comes to you at a time of great importance and growth in my life. Today, I am in college. Today, a whole world of opportunities is at my command, and I am doing whatever must be done to continue into a future that promises to be even brighter. The Evergreen State College was and remains to be my first choice. My unwavering affection for the institution has only grown in my attendance, as I have grown as an artist, as a writer, and as an individual. I have made many changes in my first year at Evergreen in the interest of my continuing attendance and success. I threw myself whole hearted at the task of affording the privilege of attending this past fall, through much trepidation and a solemn declaration written on a white board:
“Thou Shalt go to Evergreen.”
Attending The Evergreen State College is a truly empowering experience; most simply put, for the first time in my education and in my life I feel as though I have control, focus, and direction. The passion that I possessed in my prior education so often went untapped, so many times the subjects that truly interested me were thrown to the wayside and replaced by curriculums made to suit standardised tests. So many days I would walk the halls of my High School with a feeling of emptiness, being pushed through educational chutes and into narrow possibilities.
One career pathway test after another all pointed in the same vaguely defined direction: Arts and Communications. This path looked like precisely where I wanted to tread, the road less taken, yet it was continually barred and shrouded in a sea of fog.
“Writing isn't a lucrative career option, your chances are slim to none, and slim just left town.” For some time I was prodded away, toward other paths-- more “practical” paths, that would prevent me from potentially living in my car. But I wasn't happy going in these “practical” directions, they promised a life of expressionless and meaningless comfort and security. In my first Program at Evergreen, titled 'Madness and Creativity: the Psychological Link', I have explored the ways in which abnormal psychology relates to both creative expression and popular culture. I have found this study to be incredibly inspiring, and have delved extensively of my own accord into the research of modern psychology, art, and writing, as it relates to various cultures, as well as exploring the concepts of my program through research, analytical writing, creative writing, the viewing of art exhibitions and performances, and the production of visual works.
This research has been the most rewarding and enlightening experience I have yet to encounter. The aforementioned program consists of two quarters, and I intend to register for 'So You Want to be a Psychologist', a program taught by one of my current professors, Carrie Margolin, in the Spring. My passion for writing and my various creative endeavours will of course continue to serve as a method of expression and world exploration, and the study of psychology and the humanities will serve to inform my imagination, inspiring creative pieces of writing and art that will explore the concepts of psychology as they relate to society. I am in the process of writing an individual study contract to be carried out in within the next year that will explore the ways in which modern psychological study and clinical psychology have been coloured by dualism, the theories of pioneers such as Freud, the DSM-IV-TR, and social and religious views, and how it might be benefited by new, more varied, and less biased approaches. This study would greatly benefit and inform me in my continuing study as I seek to enter the field of psychological study, psychiatry, and writing. I intend to work professionally in the field of psychology, and to continue to write fiction that seeks to inform my audience of the challenges and magnificence of the human spirit.
In my first quarter at Evergreen, I made the decision to move off campus in order to save money so that I can ensure my continuing attendance. I have no outside financial support aside from my own efforts of working part time, sacrificing, and saving as much as possible to fund my continuing education. My family is unable to help me in funding my education, and are hardly able to help my older brother attend community college. Attending The Evergreen State College provides me with opportunities and resources unrivalled by any other institution, and is an investment in my future. Though I am doing everything in my power to ensure my financial ability to continue attending Evergreen, the demand is beyond my monetary resources. I cannot imagine that attending any other institution would afford me the ability to explore the concepts of human psychology in a way which I hope will promote innovation and open dialogue between a variety of professional disciplines, and thus serve to benefit society and individuals both treating and treated for psychological abnormalities and disturbances in profoundly powerful way. Thank you for your time in reviewing my application; I hope that it has provided you with an understanding of my educational goals and motivations, and that I would benefit greatly from your support.

Sincerely,
Chloe

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Elation

I know where I am going. I know why I am here. I know what I am doing. It starts now.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Test Flight

So, by the graces of modern technology, I am posting this from my phone. Easier said than done with these itty bitty keys, but it's amusing if nothing else. So much has been done with technology since the inception of the solid state drive. People don't seem to recognize that the world is a very different place than it was just a decade ago. Internet culture is part of everyday life in most cultures. It kind of makes me want to go live in a cabin in the woods, but that would be considered impractical and selfish. Funny how life works.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Concerning Bewilderment

I'm lost, and I'm realising that maybe that's what life is. Accepting that you are lost and that you will continue to be lost. Being lost isn't really "being lost" at all. It's really just being. Living the best you can, enjoying the journey, or at least just moving. Whether your preferred movement is international or from couch to kitchen, it's living. I'm never going to find myself. That's fine. Everything I do that would lead me to believe I know to at least some degree who I am is a farce. I just am. That's not to say that I lack a personality, or goals, or aspirations, but those things do not define me. My house, my college, or my bank account do not define me. My actions do not explicitly define me. I have complete control of my future, every event outside of myself is in my control, because it depends only on my reaction. My body serves as a vessel to provide me with the ability to move through life. Thus I must take care of it and do my best to protect it from physical harm. My mind is under my control. Nothing is impossible unless I decide it is such. If I decide something is possible, it is, I just have to work out how it is possible, sometimes this will take awhile. I must accept that sometimes things don't just come naturally, it takes hard work and determination, as well as a detachment from the obstacles placed before me, so that they can be navigated with reason. I will love, but that love will not define me. I will accomplish, but those accomplishments will not define me. I will set goals, these goals will be flexible and move fluidly around any hurdle placed before them. My existence is not permanent, but it is not meaningless. It means whatever I decide for it to mean.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Eyes, meet feet.



If Chloe wants to ruin her life she has every right to do so.

Something has to give...

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Bike Stunts

Awkward.
Clumsy.
Shy.

Falls over bike, awkwardly, clumsily, shyly?? He gives me a ten for the dismount. Yell about Pootie Tang. Are you watching a movie tonight? Talk about school awkwardly. Strange business plans. She looks down shyly. He gets off the bus, hoping to see her around. Too awkward to offer phone number, he doesn't know how to ask?? Kicks herself.

I suppose it doesn't matter all that much. Maybe next time.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Two Thousand and Ten

New Year's Resolutions:

1. Get Organised.

2. Thing a Day-- February 2010.

3. NaNoWriMo-- November 2010.

4. Train for and run a marathon.

5. Word a day-- word with corresponding picture. Fun way to learn new words and draw interesting doodles.

6. Worry less, live more.