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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Things

Things I needed tonight:
- Night time bike rides
- Wind on my face
- Rushing water
- Sprinklers
- Shooting stars
- Constellations
- Adrenaline
- Hills
- Kitty

Things I didn't need tonight:
- Feeling disconnected
- Feeling as though my efforts to cheer someone up are unappreciated
- Being snapped at where an explanation will do
- Weird drivers
- Distraught woman yelling downtown
- Feeling inadequate

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Bike Weekend!

So much bike stuff this weekend!
- Looked at bike porn (thanks Velogogo, totally read EVERY post).
- Adjusted my derailleur
- Look at more bike porn
- Played bike polo
- Cleaned my front fork
- Tried to buy new brake pads (kool stop continentals), but the bike shop was hecka closed due to Sunday
- Helped housemate pick out a new bike (1967 Schwinn Varsity, built like a tank, still had original components all in working order, and good price considering the condition it is in-- very little wear and tear, just some paint scuffs).
- Played more bike polo.
Good weekend at home. Just what I needed.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Flight

Maybe I'm not ready. Maybe it's too soon. I don't want to hurt anyone, it would hurt too much. I'm scared. I'm really scared. I don't know how to proceed. I don't think I'm ready to commit. I've only recently become comfortable and happy in myself, it's still novel, I'm still figuring things about myself. I can't get lost in someone else. I can't mix someone else up in it. I'm just not ready. I can spend time with people, I can share things with them, but I'm not ready to give up flight yet, not when I've just started exploring outside of my past gilded cages. I don't want to be contained again, not yet, not until I know how to be happy in a cage.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps.

Perhaps it is time for a change of heart.

Perhaps it is time. Time to stop being so shy.

Time to stop being afraid of my own potential.

Perhaps.