Thursday, August 6, 2009
How do you mend something that you can no longer find all the pieces to? I lay here now, listening to Jonathon Coulton and weighing my options. People seemingly can't disappear entirely from your life, no matter how much you will it to be so. Though they are part of your past, they manifest themselves in your present. Your hatred is a manifestation of the impact they had on your mind. That they even cross your mind, may it be wistfully or with loathing, they are in your present. Part of me wants to erase every smile, every heart flutter, every tear, every night spent staring at the ceiling willing the pain away. Sometimes I want to be Clementine, I want to have every memory wiped clean. Tabula rasa. I want to be a blank slate. But I know it would never work.